"Father"

[tenshikurai9]

Message left previously by me:
"Father,"
So what happened to getting rid of the papers on the floor? And did you ever see my point that a floor with papers on it is still a filthy floor?

His response this morning:
::my first name edited::
IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO READ NOTES FROM YOU, BECAUSE THEY CAST BLAME. I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH BLAME FOR A LIFETIME IN A JOB THAT ENDED IN 1980. I DON'T KNOW A WAY TO KEEP NEWSPAPERS THAT WOULD SATISFY YOU. EVEN NEATLY STORED OUT OF SIGHT ON A SHELF IN THE CELLAR, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM.
I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT DISCUSSION BETWEEN US IS POSSIBLE. 

Leaving a note saying: I'm not your job.  What does it have to do with us?

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

I am failing to see the blame cast in your note.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Dear Father: There is no maximum allowable amount of blame per person rule. Plus, that was 26 years ago. Suck it up.

What she said

[arkivarie.livejournal.com]

I second this! Heck, you were probably pretty little back in 1980 so you couldn't possibly have any responsibility for his job problems anyway.

Re: What she said

[tenshikurai9.livejournal.com]

I wasn't even conceived yet.

[sushidog.livejournal.com]

OK, so I'm coming to this very late, and I don't know if this will be of any help, but here's my take on it; feel free to ignore!
First off, yeah, he sounds a bit rubbish; when your self-pity is well into its third decade, it's really time to take stock, let go of the past, and grow the fuck up. It's also important to distinguish between family and work, which he clearly isn't doing.

However, given that he's apparently not capable of responding like an adult to normal communication, it might be worth trying to come at it on his terms, in order to achieve the end result that you want. I suspect he's allowing his self-pity to get in the way ofcomprehension, so what he's hearing is not "Can you clean the floor please, because it's dirty", but rather "You've failed, you can never do anything right, everything you do is wrong and not good enough". Maybe if you were to give him something like "I would like the floor to be clear and clean; how can we achieve that?", he might respond less negatively, particularly if you can give him a clear request, like "Please can we throw those newspapers away so that the floor is clear, and then give the floor a really good clean?"
(Saying "Can we do this" rather than "Can you do it" is often perceived as less confrontational and more co-operative, and is therefore likely to get a better response from him; he won't feel so much like he's being told what to do, more that you're offering to join forces with him, if you see what I mean.)

I dunno if that will help, but it might be worth a go, if you haven't tried it before...

[tenshikurai9.livejournal.com]

Keep on going with the entries. This is only the beginning of a paticular strain.