tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
I'm back from finals.  Marathoning LJ and e-mail today.  Then it's back to the rest of my break.  Tentative plans are a combination of Boston/New York/Greenwich, CT/Minneapolis.  If anyone's going to be near those areas, drop me a line so I can respond back when dates are firm. 
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
I know I haven't done a full update and at the rate I'm going, you're going to find out a review of the entire semester right after finals.

In the meanwhile, I so don't have experience with Adobe Illustrator or related programs.  I'm trying to do an assignment where we had to brainstorm 10, I Am for Art, statements of our own and then take at least one of them to put on a grid of our own making.  There'll be a final book where each page is done by one classmate.  The grid I was fine with making, but trying to figure out everything I wanted to do with the at least one non-objective element requirement and get the shades of grey where I want grey and not obscured other elements is taking time.

So now I'm worrying about Intermediate Design next year (registration went fine with all my first choice classes.)  She mentioned that we use Illustrator quite a bit and I don't know yet how quickly I can adapt.

*sigh*
tenshikurai9: (Default)
That awkward moment in class when you admit to not knowing that Bob Dylan's still around and the people younger than are the ones who know he's still making music.

Meanwhile, the college currently doesn't have a full time art historian faculty member so there's no art history classes next semester. With the classes that transferred and the classes I'm taking now, I can only take 3 classes for my major and 2 of them are back-to-back, in the middle of the day, and off campus. So no on-campus lunch for me twice a week. I need 1 more class to be full time so now I can't fully test out of my human heritage classes with the CLEP US History I and II or else I'll be stuck with figuring out what to do for a 4th class. Trying to find out if I can get my Design teacher/adviser to do a typography independent study because I'd rather design my own font.

If scheduling and even more important, art history becomes a longer term problem, I'm debating applying to MassArt. But I hate the paperwork and I want to finally share classes with 1 particular art student already.
tenshikurai9: (Default)
I know I promised a real update, but instead I give you this. So do not like reading The Circle by Dave Eggers, but I have to for class. Can he please be more creative than, technology as an ominous force and maybe add a little more nuance, like technology as a mixed force? Or can he at least not sound like a puerile boy who hasn't been laid yet when he writes about sex? Seriously.
tenshikurai9: (Default)
I'll do an update some vague time after the weekend, but in the meanwhile, does anyone have comments about Greek life in college? There is one college recognized sorority and one recognized fraternity here (and I don't have a good number on unofficial ones or info yet as to why they're not recognized.) My old school didn't have these things.
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
First I met one student who went to high school with one of former Landmark college-mates.  Then I met a different student who's friends with a different Landmark college-mate.  (And both former Landmark college-mates are dating each other.)  Another guy just merely went to one week of a summer session the summer before I went there. 
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
So after vacations nowhere-near-home, I've been near-home and dealing with the ups and downs of mood when I'm not happy with my home life.  Fortunately after this weekend, I'll be at my new college and subsequently away-from-home again.  So of course tonight I've been thinking of the trite lines people might use to "comfort" others about that which distresses.  One I don't understand is when people say, you're not alone, which happened to me in my Sr. year of high school from a guidance counselor.  I already know I'm not the only one with stresses and knowing someone else out there is under duress doesn't help me.  Just like how me being in my spot in duress doesn't help someone out there.  They or me are just some abstract person with no interaction in the other's life and knowing that some abstract person exists doesn't help relieve immediate situations.  So yeah.  Does anyone have the ability to explain why someone might think it's a helpful thing to say?

In unrelated and happier news, I get to see Temple Grandin talk and I'm going with the eccentric aunt I've been bonding with for the past few years. 
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
My class schedule runs Monday through Thursday, but not Friday.  So I actually have a 3-day weekend next semester.

Also, where the hell do people get audio cassette players these days?  My last one stopped working.  I know the ex-bf has tapes, but his last player also broke.  And not only do I have a stash of a few tapes, but I know the Armageddon Records in Harvard Square carries some punk tapes.  So yeah.  I'd like an audio cassette player or so. 
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
My local friends with a car, want to help me meet a relative?  My mother's cousin is ok with me bringing a friend to his wedding anniversary on 8/10 in Thompson, CT.  He's also ok to give you some gas and toll money back.  If you say yes, my next question is, do you also want to pick up an 80-something year old friend of his, who lives in the next town over from me? 
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
I've been on vacation in MN to help a friend's family move. Tonight the father of the family asked me to grab the green trash bag from under the sink. There were white trash bags and one dark colored one I thought was black. It's not black; it's green. This isn't the first time I've wondered if there was something off with my color vision, but it definitely felt the most jarring.

ETA: Not going to bother trying to fall asleep again with the sheer degree of noise and vibrations from people working on their back porch. So I went outside and it's either not trash day or hasn't been collected yet. In order to see that something's off about it, I have to stare closely for awhile. But it mostly just looks dark to me. Then in my photo on my iPad mini, it just looks black. IMG_1010
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
I was helping a paternal aunt clean her house by staying Sunday night through today. When I got home, my mother told me she got a phone call from someone she hasn't heard from since '82. Her cousin is having a 50th wedding anniversary get-together at his daughter's place in CT.

Until today, I wasn't aware that there were any living relatives on that side other than her brother and his wife, her father's second wife, and her aunt and uncle (and I don't know which of them is blood and which of them are married into the family.) She also doesn't talk about family enough for me to be able to reconstruct a family tree, so I don't know who's dead either. (Or family health history other than alcoholism and an air of unhappiness.)

So now I'm sitting around at home, upset over a fractured sense of family and I can't talk to anyone here about it because my parents are very much part of the fracture.

Cat

Jun. 14th, 2014 05:35 pm
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
My cat's dead.

Hi!

May. 30th, 2014 12:28 am
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
So Thursday I was walking around and writing "Hi!" in chalk by public transit stops. I was wondering if anyone was going to give me a hostile reaction and one guy was very aggressive and negative with his line of questioning. If I knew where he lived, I could have "Hi!" chalked in front of his home, every morning. But since I don't, I need your help. If you're in and around the Boston area, just write "Hi!" in chalk everywhere 'cause someone out there needs a big, friendly "Hi!." Even if he doesn't appreciate it, someone else will. And those of you not from around here might as well join. Who knows, maybe he'll go on vacation and see it and you might at least amuse other people in your hometown in the meanwhile.
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
So I made the cut and still have the Americorps job. The cat's still dying. So now I have to decide between putting him down or staying home instead for his last days. I don't want him to die while I'm out of state and even if he lives the 7 weeks of my job, he might lose enough quality of life to be beyond when he should have been put down.
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
So during Wednesday of my spring break, my dad came home and told us he was losing his job.

My cat's dying and has a tumor or whatever over the right side of his face.

And I had gotten an Americorps summer job as a camp counselor, but the agency's Americorps funding has been cut, so now they have to decide which half of the Americorps volunteers to let go. I won't have a sure answer till 5/27 at the latest.

Graduation

Apr. 19th, 2014 11:47 pm
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
I'm graduating Landmark with an AA and going on to unknown. Ceremony's 5/17 at 10 AM. Message me if you want the address.
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
Saturday I'm going to be on a school trip to Montreal. Anyone going to be there Saturday?
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
First full day of orientation leader training went fine.
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
So I was going to take a bus from Boston to Brattleboro to get to my spring orientation duties, but then I looked at the itinerary. The transfer is in Springfield by letting people off late at night and the next bus doesn't leave till the morning. So any Boston drivers I haven't asked yet, are any of you up for a Friday VT jaunt?
tenshikurai9: (black and white cat)
Apparently I had this in draft form, forgot about it, and now I'll post it before getting to a different post about a short-term, immediate need.
--
Columbus Day Weekend, I went home from college. Was super depressed because I can honestly say that there's been no improvements in my father's and I's relationship (or the house) since those string of incidents partially documented in LJ around 2006, where I tried to ask him why he let the house get so bad, he talked about losing a job due to a co-worker and then not having the money for house repairs, I pointed out it doesn't take money to get rid of shit, and he insisted on bitching about the co-worker, no matter how many times I asked what the guy had to do with us, and even when I was pointing out things like, so far as I could see, I was just asking a question and getting my head bit off. Ever since then, I've viewed it as taking a dying relationship and killing it off into a dead one.

So it was my mother who tried to talk to me when I was crying and I communicated that I still don't have a dad and I don't feel loved in comparison to the clutter and as long as the house is in such shit shape, I'm not convinced that he loves me more than the clutter. There's also the part where in childhood, the house would have been a place of safety, but when the teens onward has bad memories connected with it, it's now slightly over half my life that I've had bad experiences with my one place of security in my "home"town. She asked what would help and the only thing I could think of was a clean house because I can't believe anything's changed without that happening first.

I could overhear part of the conversation my parents had afterwards, with him saying, it was my supervisor and not my co-worker and my mother having to bring his attention back to, your own daughter doesn't feel like that you love her, part. (During the previous incidents, he used the word co-worker, btw.)

She came back to me. My mood couldn't let up since it's so little so late.

Aunt was going to bring my parents up for a day trip today, but that got canceled because of her husband having a health problem come up. Yesterday (not going to try to recreate what day that would have been if this had been posted right away), when the trip was still planned, I was blatantly enough depressed for my room mate to hear me crying .under my sheets.

Gave her some short, not really detailed answer as to why I was so depressed.

Nice dear. We spent the day together and we went out to eat, her treat. She also asked me what I was doing for the holidays.

On a later day, she asked I wanted to spend the holiday break with her and her family and I gave her a maybe and then quietly facebook messaged her dad along the lines of, this isn't a happy season for me, I mask more than I feel in front of your kid, if I seem upset, have questions wait till she's out of the room.

In the end, I followed her to Fargo from 12/14-1/5. Her childhood friend got to visit at the end of that time span (who I had already met because she slept over during my first semester and was the reason why I couldn't cut Fargo trip any shorter.) Spent most of my time either watching stuff with her or knitting. Completed a slightly over 8 foot long checkered scarf with 3 colors, 2 colors used per pattern repeat, 4 squares at a time for her dad because she asked him, dad, why do you got to wear such ugly checkered things?, while I was in ear shot. (His shirt had 2 color checker pattern with lots of small squares.) I was almost, but not quite finished with a black and white, 2 color brioche. That scarf is going to get mailed to her sister because the sister was the one who commented on it the most. The cat who doesn't warm up to everyone sat in my lap once. Saw Fargo with roomie and her friend before strolling downtown Fargo the next day. There's a statue of Marge in wood in the theater. Unfortunately we didn't get out to Moorhead to see the woodchipper.

I've spent my short time back in MA with appointments, a few friends, and crocheting because I have it in mind to make everyone in roommate's household something in gratitude.

That extra period inserted into a sentence is where I continued typing today.
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